Have you heard about the "Tidying Up" craze? As usual, I seem to learn about trends that are so last year (or 5 years ago)...anyway, a couple of weeks ago I finally tuned into the series "Tidying Up" on Netflix that is gaining popularity. I was surprised at how much I was inspired by it. I expected to be interested in some organizational tips and maybe some ways to deal with the constant clutter that seems to overtake our house but definitely not to be as struck by it as I was. It literally brought me to tears, like Holy Spirit tears, and I knew it was something I needed to do. That same week, the boys and I took a field trip to our favorite neighborhood book store, Barnes and Noble, and this time with the specific mission of buying Marie Kondo's book, "the life-changing magic of tidying up."
If you have seen the series or know anything about it, the first step is to tackle your clothes, and I mean all of your clothes. You search the house for every last bit of your clothing, accessories, seasonal, shoes, etc. and you put them in one pile. Then, you literally touch every last item and see if it "sparks joy." If it doesn't, with a "thank you" to the item, it goes to the recycle/throw away or donate pile. As many of us can imagine it was quite the pile...and it wasn't event mine! It was Amelia's. She was a rockstar. She helped gather everything up and she literally laid hands on every piece of clothing of hers and decided which items sparked joy. In conclusion... she really kept a lot, but she did get rid of one garbage bag of items to donate/sell and half a bag to throw away. And we're just getting started! On to the boys next, then Ben and I's closet.
So, we've started the method, now let me take you back several weeks...Ben and I from time to time toy with the idea of moving. We'll find a house and property we think is intriguing and go look at it. We drove by a couple of properties in early February and looked at one the end of last year. We're super excited about the possibilities and then something doesn't seem to fit quite right. Either I love it and Ben doesn't, price tag doesn't fit our budget, or we just sit back and realize all the work moving is going to take with a toddler and a baby, let alone letting go of all the memories of Wayland we have in this house. (Actually, kinda all of the above.) The ups and downs of it was putting me in tail spin (add in the winter blues and a case of pneumonia and influenza, a dirty house and to-do list that seemed to multiply by the day) and I was just feeling down in the dumps. Ugh. I was frustrated that I was starting to feel so ready and excited for a new adventure and then...nope, not quite. That's about about when I decided to watch the "Tidying Up" Series. Watching the first episode, at one point, a feeling of warmth washed through me, tears poured down, and I knew that this was going to be a gift to our family. We were meant to tackle the KonMari method. Here's why: One of the things I had most anxiety about was if we decided to move, we'd have to sort through and choose what things of Wayland's we should keep or not. We will have to walk through the halls and rooms of the house and let go of our time with him here...and most likely it would have to be at a pretty quick pace. That made me feel so overwhelmed. Watching the series, I found peace knowing we could let go of the adventures ahead for now. Lets "tidy up" for real and the right way and embrace everything in the house from our past, our sacred and special past with Wayland, and the grief after, and then all the joy and amazing memories of adding 2 little boys to the family. We will touch every last item in the house, find "joy" in the item and keep it or we'll thank it and then let go of it...even if it is hard. Wayland lives inside us. He always will, whether we are here or in some other house. I realized this process might bring about the healing we need to go through to move forward.
Isn't that all we need sometimes, something as simple as facing our pain, to bring about the internal change that needs to happen to see what God has in store for us next. I am praying it does, but I really think it will. I'll fill you in along the way...stay tuned.