After Wayland passed, I was given a leather band with a "story" on it. I adore it. It was made by the Story People. The creator of this company has composed many different "stories," or short, meaningful statements that reflect the human experience. If you go to their website, you can find a story, then choose the product you want to put it on. A few examples are wrist wraps like mine, wall art, vases, etc. I wear my wrist wrap almost every day because I feel like it perfectly reflects the love that I still carry for Wayland. I know life looks pretty normal, we have lived without him for over 2 years now. But his place in our family, in my heart, is still so intensely alive that I can't help but "carry" him with me. His memory is present as we visit old family favorites; the Zoo, the Museum, the pumpkin patch. Wayland is present when I see one of his friends, when I hear Amelia say phrases Wayland said. Really, anything we do is not without a thought of Wayland.
The words on the leather wrap read:
"I carry you with me into the world, into the smell of the rain & the words that dance between people & for me it will always be this way, walking in the light remembering being alive together."
This feels like a perfect reflection. "You" is suttle, mystical, almost like a phantom. It is not tangible in the sense that I can't reach out and touch it. "You" or "He," in this case, is in the smell of the rain, in the dancing words, in the light. No, I can't touch him, but he is alive.
As time tries to minimize Wayland's presence, I've felt like I want to visibly signify the intesity of feelings I experience every day.
I've recently learned about the symbolism of the lotus flower. It is a sign of strenth, transcendance, and purity. Here is why, the roots of the lotus ground up from the muddy bottom of the water. The stems then grow tall to allow its beautiful flower to emerge out of the water and open up to the sun. For me this is symbolic of Wayland's death. He passed through death's mud, its pain, and I know is basqueing in God's love. I hope the mud I experience everyday purifies me enough to hold Wayland again someday. The picture says it all, my new symbol of Wayland. A lotus with the words, "I carry you with me into the world."